Help!!!

My name is Dick, and I am a blogger that has been targeted by an anonymous slanderer who leaves the most insulting comments about me in my friends' blogs, please track this person down and leave him a message stating that he deserved to be drawn, quartered, hung, flogged and bashed up by 10 men. Do inform me once the comment has been left on his blog and also send me the URL. Thank you, I am willing to pay you $100 for the job, do you accept? I will be eagerly waiting for your reply.