Oh! That Pantaloon Guy...

This is a message from John (not his real name), of New York City,

I have read that Lionel Pantaloon of the New York Times Gossip Column has wrote some distasteful remarks about me and my relationship with Jane, the daughter of a hotel tycoon. I am at wits end and I really do not know how to get rid of this bad publicity. So, while I sulk over my misfortune, please be so kind to give this guy a good punch in the face. Thank you so much...

PS: Your money will arrive after the deed is done